Eva Bloom Reviews: (We Tried It 365) My Honest Review
I was in Madrid, Spain—sitting on a too-soft couch, drinking room-temp wine out of a mug because I’d broken all my actual glasses—and doom-scrolling through my feed. Love life? A literal dumpster fire. My idea of romance was watching old Outlander clips and sighing dramatically. Alone.
Then—bam. An ad.
“Your soulmate sketch is waiting.”
Like... sure, okay. Sketch me my way out of this emotional hole, why don’t you?
So, yeah. I bought Eva Bloom’s Soulmate Sketch™, and I made—no exaggeration—every mistake possible. Thought it would be a silly thing. It wasn’t. Then ignored it. Wrong again. Compared it online. Regretted it. Reopened it later. Got emotionally wrecked. Now I’m here, telling you about it because apparently, oversharing on the internet is how I cope.
Let’s talk about what not to do. Please learn from my chaos.
So... I clicked "Buy" with exactly zero expectations. Thought it’d be like those caricature sketches from boardwalks in Jersey—just with less talent and more astrology buzzwords.
But what I got?
Bro.
The face. The detail. It wasn’t hyper-realistic like a photo—but it wasn’t cartoonish either. It had emotion. Soul. Like, why does this feel familiar?? I didn’t have words. Still don’t, fully.
And then came the tarot reading. Three cards. One basically screamed “You’re afraid of intimacy but pretending you’re too busy for love.” Rude but also accurate??
My advice?
Don’t dismiss it like a gag gift. You’ll laugh now, then cry later when it hits.
⚠️ Mistake #2: Skipping the Bonus Stuff (It’s Not “Extra” If It Breaks Your Brain)
Okay, real talk—I saw “Bonus: Astro Compatibility Blueprint” and immediately skipped it. Like, cool, thanks for the PDF I won’t read.
Big mistake.
Weeks later, after a fight with my situationship (don’t ask), I opened it. Line one? “Your chart shows you’re attracted to emotional unavailability because it feels familiar.”
I. Screamed.
Same for the 3-card tarot spread. I didn’t even read it at first. I skimmed. Glazed over. Thought, “Yeah yeah, love energy, let’s go.” No. Go back. Read it. It’s layered.
And the ritual? Okay, yes. Lighting a candle while reading affirmations made me feel slightly like a Hallmark witch—but also... I weirdly slept better that night? Coincidence? Probably. Still worked.
I don’t know what I was hoping for. Like—maybe the sketch would glow and a mysterious stranger would text me “Hey, you dropped this 💘”? Or maybe I’d walk into Target and someone would match the eyes, and boom—credits roll.
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I was in Madrid, Spain—sitting on a too-soft couch, drinking room-temp wine out of a mug because I’d broken all my actual glasses—and doom-scrolling through my feed. Love life? A literal dumpster fire. My idea of romance was watching old Outlander ...Eva Bloom Reviews 2025: My Honest Review.
I was in Madrid, Spain—sitting on a too-soft couch, drinking room-temp wine out of a mug because I’d broken all my actual glasses—and doom-scrolling through my feed. Love life? A literal dumpster fire. My idea of romance was watching old Outlander ...Eva Bloom Reviews 2025: My Honest Review
I was in Madrid, Spain—sitting on a too-soft couch, drinking room-temp wine out of a mug because I’d broken all my actual glasses—and doom-scrolling through my feed. Love life? A literal dumpster fire. My idea of romance was watching old Outlander ...Eva Bloom Reviews 2025: My Honest Review.
I was in Madrid, Spain—sitting on a too-soft couch, drinking room-temp wine out of a mug because I’d broken all my actual glasses—and doom-scrolling through my feed. Love life? A literal dumpster fire. My idea of romance was watching old Outlander ...Eva Bloom Reviews 2025: My Honest Review
I was in Madrid, Spain—sitting on a too-soft couch, drinking room-temp wine out of a mug because I’d broken all my actual glasses—and doom-scrolling through my feed. Love life? A literal dumpster fire. My idea of romance was watching old Outlander ...